Friday, November 30, 2012

What's on for Friday, Nov. 30

Friday, Nov.30
6 p.m. “Lucky Christmas” A woman races to retrieve a winning lottery ticket that was in the glove compartment when her car was stolen. We’re thinking “Tragically Ironic Christmas That Left Us Eternally Bitter” might be a better title.  (2011) Hallmark Channel.
10:30 p.m. “Health Inspectors”
Things you don’t want to know about places where you’ll never eat. Food network.
11:15p.m. “War of the Worlds” (2005)
This is the Tom Cruise version where the aliens are finally scared off by the scientology pamphlets. TNT.
11:35p.m. “The Tonight Show”
At what point does Carson Daly pass the Dick Clark stage and move into Lawrence Welk territory? NBC.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Thursday, Nov. 29
6 p.m. “101 Gadgets that Changed the World” Tune in next week For “101 Chargers That You Can’t Find But Are Probably in a Drawer Somewhere.” History Channel.
6:30p.m. “Dungeons and Dragons: Wrath of the Dragon God” Surely to be followed by “Dungeons and Dragons: the Wrath of Mom Who Wants You To Keep It Down But Would Your Friends Like Some Lemonade?” 2005) SyFy.
7 p.m. “A Fairly Odd Christmas” Another cartoon character has to “save” Christmas. Last we checked, Christmas didn’t need saving. It’s an established economic juggernaut on a par with taxes, military spending and the creeping “how did that happen?” increases in your cable bill. Nickelodeon
8 p.m. “Naughty or Nice” (2012)
A woman gets a hold of Santa’s “naughty and nice” lists. Unfortunately, the naughty list doesn’t come with pictures. You can watch that movie on SpectraVision on your next business trip.   Hallmark Channel.
11:35 p.m. “The Tonight Show”
With the election over, Newt Gingrich is due to release his latest lunar colony/space-base death ray idea. We’re hoping for something involving revivified mummies and granting statehood to Disneyworld. NBC.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

From the files

What's on tonight.

8 p.m. “Christmas in Rockefeller Center”
Al Roker welcomes Mariah Carey, Victoria Justice and others in a musical celebration of the holidays and Rod Stewart appears as the Ghost of Rehabs Past. NBC.
8 p.m. “Finding Bigfoot: Further Evidence”
It turns out the Kentucky Sasquatch plays the banjo and is married to his first cousin. Animal Planet
9 p.m. “Criminal Minds”
A motivational speaker is suspected of murdering an attendee at the conference. The suspect apparently did not purchase the whole six DVD set. CBS.
10 p.m. “Extreme Cougar Wives”
We don’t know what makes a Cougar wife “extreme.” Maybe it’s the age discrepancy. Maybe it’s the plastic surgery. Maybe it’s the pelts of younger suitors she keeps in her hunting lodge The Learning Channel.
10 p.m.”Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura”
Tonight’s show examines the story of a pro wrestler who used a short film career to work his way into the governor’s mansion. It sounds a tad farfetched. TruTV

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

From the files ...

8 p.m. “Cereal: Behind the Bowl”
The history of cereal and new evidence that Captain Crunch exaggerated his military record. Discovery Channel
8 p.m. “CMA’s

What's on tonight.

Tuesday, Nov. 27
6:50 p.m. “Tron: Legacy” In the sequel, the son of a missing software executive finds his father alive in a virtual world where programs exist as living beings trapped in a data matrix. This is a contrast to the real world where living beings are trapped in a data plan with a two-year contract. (2010) Starz.
7 p.m. “Sister Wives” We’d worry that the home situation isn’t healthy for a kid when the parent teacher conference requires stadium seating. The Learning Channel.
8 p.m. “Dangerous Grounds” In this new series, the host travels to remote locations in search of exotic coffee beans. The indigenous populations are often savage, some even have more tattoos, piercings and ritual scarring than that guy who made your latté at Starbucks yesterday. Travel Channel.
8:30p.m. “Shrek the Halls” An ogre at Christmas? That’s why we leave the office Christmas party before the boss gets to his third drink. ABC

Monday, November 26, 2012

From the files.

9 p.m. “Kitchen Gadgets of the Future” A look at new technology for the kitchen including a bread maker with legs that can walk itself out to the yard sale when you inevitably figure out that you’re not using it. Food Network.

From the files at

8:30 p.m. “Blow” (2001) A young man helps pioneer the cocaine trade in the United States hastening such societal plagues as gang warfare, crack, disco and Paris Hilton. USA Network,

What's on tonight.

Monday, Nov. 26

6:05 p.m. ”Monty Python’s ‘The Meaning of Life’”
Man’s search for meaning has taken us down a tangled maze of philosophical twists and turns, but rarely one with this much flying vomit. (1983)
8 p.m. “Bones”
Booth searches a comedy club for a suspect. The suspect is charged with murder. Booth is charged the two drink minimum and three airline food jokes.
8p.m. “The Proposal”
Sandra Bullock stars as a big city executive who faces deportation to Canada and concocts an engagement to the assistant she’s made miserable for years in a film so stupid you actually lose IQ points just for know it’s on.  (2009) FX.
9 p.m. “The Green Hornet”
A wealthy newspaper publisher’s heir and his martial arts assistant go after bad guys. It sounds far-fetched, especially the “wealthy newspaper publisher” part. (2011) Starz.
 9 p.m. “Wall-E”
In the future, earth has become inhabitable and humanity lives aboard luxurious spaceliners where every person’s whim and need is attended to by intelligent robots.  It makes us want to go buy a Hummer and leave it idling with the AC on. When do we get our robot?  (2008) ABC Family.
11:30 p.m. :Tattoo Nightmares”
At some point you may decide you’re not as into Motley Crue as you used to be. Spike.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

What's on tonight

9 p.m. “Downton Abbey Revisited”
A look behind-the-scenes shows the wardrobe designers starching the socks and the process used by makeup artists to apply the stiff upper lips. KQED PBS.
8 p.m. “Home Alone: Holiday Heist”
This is more or less a remake with a new annoying kid left alone to fend off burglars. But now he posts pictures of the bloodied victims to Instagram. (2012) ABC Family.
8:30 p.m. Hotel for Dogs”
Kids turn an underground dog rescue shelter in an abandoned hotel. If you tip the bellhop, he’ll let you smell his butt. (2009) Nickelodeon.
9p.m. “Liz & Dick”
Lindsay Lohan starts as Elizabeth Taylor in the story of Taylor and her headline-grabbing relationshop with Richard Burton. The title is suggestive enough that we’re not going to go for the cheap joke here. We’ll let you handle that yourself. Oops! (2012) Lifetime.
10p.m. “The Menalist”
When a real estate agent is killed investigator must compare the murders to other murders in the neighborhood in the same price range. CBS.

From the files at

8 p.m. “50 Best Chick Flicks” A look at films that appeal to women, including “Steel Magnolias,” “The Yearning of the Burden,” “The Crying Quilt” and “If You Really Loved Me You’d Go See It With Me.” E! Entertainment.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

From the files ...

9 p.m. “Any Which Way You Can” (1980) Clint Eastwood reveals a sensitive side in a film that showed America why a bare-knuckle boxer may sometimes require the companionship of an adult orangutan. Country Music TV.

What's on tonight.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

From the files of That TV Guy

8 p.m. “Ode to Billy Joe” (1976) The story of a suicidal teen-ager belongs to a special genre of films based on songs including “Yellow Submarine,” “Harper Valley PTA” and  “In A Gadda Juanita.” CMTV.

9 a.m. “Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade” Giant ballons this year include Buzz Lightyear, Kung Fu Panda, Elmo and Elmo’s lawyer.  NBC.
6:30p.m. Biggie and Tupac”
The story of two legendary rap artists gunned down in an ongoing feud. In rap they call this “natural causes.” (2002) Current.
7 p.m. “Hatfields & McCoys” The real tragedy of the notorious blood feud is that it all happened before reality TV.  Also: new evidence hat it all started over a thoughtless Facebook post. History Channel.
10 p.m. “Meet the Parents”
Ben Stiller plays a young suitor who accompanies his girlfriend home to meet her parents with disastrous results. This is why most relationship experts recommend staging the first encounter with the parents in a public place, preferably one with multiple escape routes and convenient parking for the getaway car. (2000) Bravo.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

6:30 p.m. “Apollo 18” Old footage reveals a secret mission to the moon on which astronauts discovered evidence of alien life. And there's a Starbucks already there. (2011) Showtime.
7 p.m. “21 Jump Street” This is a re-interpretation of the ’80s crime drama about young, hip, detectives, which was really a reinterpretation of the 1960s “Mod Squad,” which, in turn, was derivative of the classic “Little Rascals: Spanky P.I.” (2012)  Starz.
8 p.m. “Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” If you notice a dog cooking dinner for a group of children with no parents around, it’s probably time to call Child Protective Services. ABC.
8 p.m. “Saved!” A pregnant teenager copes with ostracism at a Baptist school. From what we can tell teen pregnancy is a varsity sport at most parochial schools. (2004) The Movie Channel.
8 p.m. “Bolt” A dog from an adventure TV show wanders into the real world and discovers that it was all special effects: he has no super powers. Mitt Romney just went through a similar experience. (2008) Disney Channel.
10 p.m. “Manliest Restaurants” In some restaurants, you can pick your lobster from a tank. In others you have to wrestle it to the ground and brand it. Travel Channel.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

What's on tonight,

6:30p.m. “Lost in Translation”
In an Oscar-nominated role, Bill Murray plays an actor in Japan for a commercial shoot who confronts the melancholy of middle age in a film that insiders say helped him prepare for his ground-breaking work the following year in “Garfield: the Movie.” (2003) Showtime.
7:15 p.m. “Freddy vs. Jason”
Freddy Krueger of the “Elm Street” franchise and Jason Voorhes of the “Friday the 13th” series have a lot in common. And yet they fail to connect on an emotional level. (2003) Starz.
8 p.m. “Up” A lonely widower facing the loss of his home ties thousand of balloons to his house and floats off to a mysterious jungle. If any part of this is in your retirement plan, see an investment counselor immediately. (2009) Disney Channel.
9 p.m. “Redneck Island”
Fourteen rednecks compete for a 100,00 island. It’s basically “Survivor” with a smaller vocabulary and fewer teeth and the immunity idol has a bottle opener in the base. CMT.
11p.m. “The Real Story of Thanksgiving” It turns out that canned cranberry sauce was invented as a gag gift. History Channel.

Monday, November 19, 2012

9 p.m. “How Whiskey Made America” We never realized how important the whiskey trade was in the development of the American colonies and westward expansion. We were more familiar with “How Whiskey Made Our Weekend Awesome.” Discovery Channel.

7 p.m. “Wrong Turn” (2003) A group of college students get lost in the Appalachian backwoods and encounter a clan of savage inbred cannibals. They only escape when they distract the murderous hillbillies with a NASCAR broadcast and an anti-gay-marriage rally. SyFy.

What's on tonight.

Monday , Nov, 19

5p.m. “Doctor Zhivago” Omar Sharif romances Julie Christie in an epic love story set against the sweeping expanse of the Russian revolution, which apparently was not as much fun as we’d been lead to believe. (1967) Turner Classic Movies
6 p.m. “Comfort and Joy” A high-powered executive wakes up after a auto accident in an alternate reality as a stay-at-home mom with a passion for domestic tranquility. She comes to cherish her newfound family life, but not until she stages an unfriendly take over of the school PTA and out-sources the laundry to an overseas sweatshop. (2003) Lifetime.
8 p.m. “The Dust Bowl” Displaced dirt farmers find refuge in California, loading up the truck and moving to Beverly Hills, a land of swimming pools, movie stars and the sage financial advice of Mr. Drysdale. KQED PBS.
6 p.m. “Princess Bride” A young man risks his life to be reunited with his lost love and a gifted swordsman has trouble processing his grief. (1987) American Movie Classics.
9 p.m. “Jack Frost” Michael Keaton plays a father who never has time for his son until he is killed and his soul magically inhabits a snowman. It’s like “Frosty, the Snowman” if Frosty had been incredibly creepy and sentenced the children to years of psychological therapy. (1998) ABC Family.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

What's on tonight ...

Sunday, Nov. 18

7:30 p.m. “Dr. Seuss’s ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’”
Finally, a real “War on Christmas.” TBS
8 p.m. “The Wizard of Oz”
Transported to a viral landscape, a TV gag writer is ready to kill the next person who mis-credits his line and then teams up with the Internet to kill again. (1939) TBS.
8 p.m. “It’s Christmas, Carol”
A hard-hearted CEO is haunted by her former boss who reaches out from the grave to teach her the true meaning of Christmas, which, as every businessman knows, is doctoring the quarterly reports to get a bigger year-end bonus.
(2012) Hallmark Channel.
9:15p.m. “Star Trek: Generations” In this one, Capt. Picard is joined by Capt. Kirk in a heroic effort to save the galaxy. This marks William Shatner’s final turn in the Capt. Kirk role. We won’t see that toupee again unless they decide to remake the “Trouble with Tribbles” episode. (1994) Independent Film Channel.
9 p.m. “Superstorm Apocalypse” A report on the climate dynamics behind Hurricane Sunday and whether God was punishing New York for gay marriage, drug use, or outlawing the big gulp. Discovery Channel.
11 p.m. “The Butterfly Effect”
A young man discovers he can travel through time but each time he does, small changes in the past have huge repercussions in the present. And he still can’t go back and change his haircut for that fateful yearbook picture. (2004) Starz.

From the files ...

9 p.m. “Blast from the Past” Raised in a fallout shelter by parents who believed civilization had been destroyed, a wide-eyed man emerges into present day Los Angeles, ignorant of all the events and social changes of the last 35 years. That’s the kind of resume that would make it difficult to get a job anywhere outside of a GOP presidential campaign. (1999) TNT.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

From the files ...

8 p.m. “Inglorious Bastards” Brad Pitt leads a band of Jewish soldiers who take on the Nazis with cunning, courage and flattering lighting. (2009) TNT.

8 p.m. “Little House on the Prairie Marathon” An entire day with the frontier family including the episode where Laura finds a baby deer trapped in a well, the episode where the Amish family teaches the Ingalls the meaning of charity and the episode where Pa Ingall joins a vigilante mob to drive out new immigrant settlers. Hallmark Channel.

Another way to find me -

Same blog, another way to get here.

What's on tonight.

Saturday, Nov. 17

7 p.m. “The Incredible Hulk”
This is the newer one, that has more action and less angst than the 2003 version. In this one, he just gets mad and turns into the Hulk. He doesn’t schedule a session with his therapist first. (2008) FX
8 p.m. “Holiday High School Reunion” The holidays are stressful enough without a high school reunion thrown in. On the plus side, the bulky sweater camouflages your beer gut nicely. (2012) FX
8 p.m. “Toy Story 3” In the latest sequel, the Woody, Buzz and the gang are donated to a preschool where they are abused, kicked and slobbered on. It’s basically like being a parent. (2010) Disney Channel.
9 p.m. “John Carter of Mars”
A man magically transported to Mars discovers he has gained super strength but, at the same time, lost the ability to speak in coherent dialogue. (2012) Starz
9 p.m. “48 Hours” Stories of mothers working as private investigators. They don’t just find the suspects. They make them feel guilty too. CBS
10 p.m. “Wedding Band” The band plays at ComiCon, the one performance all year where they don’t say “This one goes out to the ladies.” TBS.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Bring on the hate mail.

5 p.m. “The Opposite of Sex” Christina Ricci stars as a manipulative teen in this dark comedy. In real life, we don’t know what the opposite of sex is but we think it involves Bea Arthur. (1998) IFC.

We knew her when ...

8 p.m. “Mystic Pizza” A group of young women working at a pizzeria come of age in a seaside Connecticut town in a film that gives viewers a chance to see a young Julia Roberts with big ’80s hair, the glow of youth and the nose she was born with. (1988) ABC

Another era

8 p.m. “Mr. Mom” Laid off from his job, an automobile engineer takes over parenting responsibilities while his wife reenters the job market. It all seems kind of quaint now. If it happened now, the kids would simply be outsourced to India. (1983) PAX

Looking back

8 p.m. “Living with Michael Jackson” It turns out that life at Neverland Ranch is just like life at any other guarded compound filled with zoo animals and carnival rides and owned by an eccentric self-disfigured recluse whose best friend is a chimpanzee. VH1.

What's on tonight, 11/16

Friday, Nov. 16

7 p.m. “Barbie: the Princess and the Pop Star” A princess and a pop star look-alike decide to switch places so that each can experience can experience a different kind of poor gender modeling for your daughter. (2012) Nickelodeon.
8 p.m. “America’s Next Top Model” This is the finale. The winner gets a modeling contract, a cash prize and the privilege of eating on consecutive days. CW.
8 p.m. “Jeepers Creepers”.
A pair of college students are stalked by a demon who eats people to regenerate his body parts. He has his mother’s eyes, really.  (2001) American Movie Classics.
9 p.m. “CSI: NY” When a prep school student is murdered, investigators not only have to identify the suspect, they have to help the suspect best phrase the experience for their college entrance essay. CBS.
11:35 p.m. “The Tonight Show” Chris Matthews discusses the election results and how President Obama’s victory speech “only deepened my man crush.” NBC

Thursday, November 15, 2012

8 p.m. “Field of Dreams” Ghosts of old-time baseball players coax a farmer to build a baseball diamond in his cornfield but when the ghost players demand a cut of the parking and T-shirt concessions, the farmer’s wife grows suspicious. (1989) TBS.